Unhappy, fighting cats

(Vermont)

My cats have recently started fighting again. I had four (all from the same litter who have been together since birth), but relinquished a female nearly 12 weeks ago because after 2 1/2 years of fighting, most of it was getting worse instead of better. I thought she might be happier in a home where she wasn't fearful and fighting almost every day--sometimes many times a day. I tried to find someone to adopt her, but no one I knew (nor any of the people that friends contacted on my cat's behalf) would take her in. After several conversations with staff, I brought her to the local humane society. It was a very painful decision, but I thought it could help her as well as the other cats I take care of. I don't know how she is--you give up all rights to know when you bring your pet in. Anyway, I think about her a lot, but thought that maybe it was a necessary decision because hopefully she has found a happier home, and for nearly 2 1/2 months, the other cats have not been fighting. They even occasionally played together and had started grooming each other again.

But then last week I came home from work, and one of the boys was sitting in a doorway doing that low growl/whine. His brother was about 5 feet away from him in the kitchen, and their sister was hiding in the bathroom (I say hiding because I couldn't get her to come out--they usually all greet me when I come in the door). When the male in the kitchen moved towards the doorway his brother was in, his brother started hissing. I tried to calm him down, speaking quietly to him and lightly stroking his back, but he started hissing and growling anytime his brother or sister moved--it didn't even have to be movement towards him, just any movement that he could see. I moved further into the apartment to try to figure out what was going on and saw pee on the living room floor and behind the couch. There were tufts of fur over about half of the kitchen. I have cleaned repeatedly and sprayed feliway. I can't really afford them right now, but I bought 2 feliway plug-ins as well (I figure if that helps the cats, the extra on my credit card will be well worth it.). I have been trying to get home as early as I can from work (no later than 6pm), play more with each of them, spend more time petting them, etc., but the male that is the most stressed is still hissing and growling--even when all his brother does is walk by him with his eyes averted. I know the latter does pick fights when he isn't getting what he wants--treats, canned food, attention--but I've only seen him do that 2x in the past week, but his aggrieved brother is still very much on edge. Thus far there have not been other major fights--I can usually get to them, when I'm at home, shortly after a hiss or growl. But I know it's not realistic for me to be the peace maker all the time--and it's not super helpful because I don't want them to be so stressed that they are hissing.

To throw another wrench in the works, I have holiday travel plans that I cannot alter without losing my tickets. I feel torn between my cats and my family--since I haven't seen my mom and one of my sisters in over 2 years. I made the travel arrangements and pet sitter appointments prior to the fight. Honestly, the major reason why I haven't take any trips longer than overnight for nearly 3 years was due to the fighting cats--I didn't want to stress them out more by leaving them. The only way I stopped fights sometimes was by near-constant vigilance when their sister was still with us. There were nights that I only slept for an hour or two because I had to break-up fights. I can't say that I've never yelled at them, and I know that is not the way to handle cat fights--sometimes though I yell at them to stop. Generally though, I try to stay calm and speak quietly, standing in between them if all else fails (I had to hold up a blanket between them once so Tatu could get past his sister into a different room--she attacked if she saw him even move his head so he couldn't even go to a different area without her freaking out until I blocked her sight of him). I've tried separating them, keeping food in different rooms, giving the stressed cat more attention (although I can pet him for a while, play with him for a while and then try to get my own dinner and he starts crying again; then, if he sees his brother walk into another room--and it's not a large apartment by any stretch of the imagination--he is on edge again, sometimes running after his brother and hissing or growling).

What I am wondering is a) how the heck do I get them back to feeling calm and happy; b) should I put the one who seems the most stressed in the bedroom while I am away for 4 days? I don't want to do the latter, because I'm worried that the separation will do harm as it seemed to do when I still had their sister and was trying to keep her separated and then reintroduce her. But I'm also worried about coming home and finding them right back to the way they were when their other sister was still with us and they were fighting with her all the time--scared, stressed and growling, hissing, attacking, etc.

I have taken them to a vet (several months ago and several times) to make sure that it wasn't illness that was making them ornery and aggressive, but the vet said they all seemed strong and healthy. One seemed underweight, but he has since gained weight. I scoop their litterboxes 2x/day. I have dry food down at all times in 2 different rooms so they have access to it. I put a treat ball out for the one who gets ornery when hungry so he has that to tide him over until he feels like eating some dry food or I come home from work and give them their canned food supper. Oh and they're 7 1/2 years old--their sister started the "fearful aggression", as the behaviorist called it, when they were about 5. I can maybe squeeze in another litterbox and am working on more play-time (it is sporadic lately at best, but to be honest that is how it usually has been). Oh and if I do separate the stressed one, the other problem is I also have to barricade the door--otherwise they attack the door which is glass and has a few inches between the bottom of the door and the floor. I have no idea if putting him the bedroom when I'm gone would make it worse, or give them all a breather so to speak.

Any advice? I am very stressed and I know that doesn't help them--the current fighting makes me feel like I gave up on their sister for no good reason now. But I obviously don't handle fighting cats well and I can't keep living in a state of near-constant anxiety that results in me getting to work late, rushing home in the evening and not traveling or even going out to meet friends lest they become more stressed--it isn't working for them or for me. I tried ignoring it, thinking that maybe they were working out a new hierarchy (unusal for adult cats that have been together for over 7 years, but hey, what do I know?), but that seems to result in increasing fear and aggression.

Oh and we are on the 2nd floor so it isn't displaced aggression from outside cats jumping up or walking by. They have always been skittish so hearing the neighbors come home, walk by, slam their door, etc. makes them nervous, but I can't do much about that unless someone wants to buy me a home in the middle of nowhere. Full disclosure, I have moved several times in the past few years (the last time being about 5 months ago when I lost my job and moved across the country to be closer to my family). The new place I'm in is smaller and the previous tenants had rabbits and after weeks of repeated cleanings, some places still smell like rabbit pee. I'm locked into a lease though and can't afford to move anyway, but I don't know if smelling rabbit pee is contributing to their stress. Although I don't understand why they would be seemingly okay--no fighting, growling, hissing for over 2 months and then start up again.
Sorry for the book of a story, but I really need some advice. Please help!
Thanks so very much for your time.

RESPONSE:

It sounds as though the cats have been stressed for a long time. Moving, work hour changes, losing a cat, etc. all can add to their stress and lead to agression.
Try Bach Flower Essences or Spirit Essences to try to calm their emotions. For a really anxious cat, St. John's Wort helps.
Do they have anough hiding places and high up places to get away from each other? That will help. Also, try to play with them as much as possible. A tired cat is a happy cat. Get a Panic Mouse or Undercover Mouse and set it up where you can keep an eye on them but not interfear. We do this prior to feeding time because meal times tend to bring out the worst in our cats. Interactive play before bedtime helps to tire them out before bed so they sleep better. Use more feeder balls, puzzleboxes, etc. when you are away so they can play-hunt on their own safely. Use catnip (Yeow Bananas are our cats favorite!) and rub it on toys, kickers, even balled up socks to use when you are away. Make several and keep them in the freezer to keep the catnip fresh. Change them every few days to keep their interest. Go on your trip - you need it - and try not to worry. (I know, easier said than done) If possible, get the cat sitter to play with them or at least, set out the solitary play toys and change the catnip toys and put the Essences in their water. Try these theing and see if they help. Let us know how it goes.

Donna-House Full Cats Mom