Socializing a 6 month old cat

by Norma
(Michigan)

Hello - I've been working with a girl who does "rescue" work, and she showed us a 6-month old female (Beautiful girl!) who is shy and fearful of people. We were shy of taking her like that, but then knowing we have worked with our vet and another rescue place in socializing kittens before, offered that we could take her home with us and work with her for as long as we liked. If she warmed to us, and us to her, we could of course keep her. If not, we can bring her back. My questions are:
Is 6 months old to bring about change in a kitty? And, if she spends any significant time with us, will it harm her to break that bond and return her?
Thanks for any help! My heart goes out to her, but I'm not sure if we can do her any good!

RESPONSE:

Norma:

6 months is not too old but it will take longer. You will have to go slowly. Just coming into your home will be added stress and fear for her. She may spend the first few weeks hiding - only coming out when no one is around.
And it would not be fair to her to bring her in only to return her after a couple of weeks because she is still frightened and has not turned into a cuddle cat. But then, if you feel the need to return her, there is no bond between you to worry about.
We cannot tell you what to do. The choice is a very personal one on your part. We can only tell you what we would do.
We would not consider returning a cat that needed us. The exception is with feral cats. They get spayed/neutered then returned to their territory. Feral cats are very unhappy when confined. From what you have said, she does not sound feral. Strays or abandoned cats are another matter. They want human companionship and comfort but for whatever reason have learned to be afraid.
Strays are always allowed to stay and we work with them for months. Even if they never turn into the friendliest of cats, we don't kick them out. It is not their fault that they ended up abandoned or abused and are shy and fearful of people.
Marty is a prime example. It took several months before we could even look at him without him running away in fear. Now, he loves petting and even comes looking for us for attention. He still does not like to be held but that's OK with us. He is very happy and contented here though still very fearful of others so he will live out his life with us.
We believe every cat deserves a happy life so we are willing to make the effort and give them the time and space they need to find that happiness. Not all cats need to be "snugglers" to be happy.
So, if we brought her home, we would work with her to develop a bond of trust between at least one of us and the cat and work to allow her to find her own level of happiness. We simply wouldn't consider giving up on her. But that's us.
We suggest you decide to either make the commitment to her or leave her where she is. If she is repeatedly turned away from people, she will never learn to trust. But, the choice is yours.
Let us know what you decide. And if you bring her home and want some help or suggestions, please contact us anytime. We love helping cats find happiness, even from a distance!

Donna
House Full Cats Mom