Ongoing Cat Spats

by Melissa
(Queens, NY)

This is a bit long, but I felt it necessary to describe the entire situation to perhaps help in pinpointing what the issue is.
Our resident cat (Smuckers) was found pregnant on the street & later separated from her daughter of 2 years when my husband & I got married in 2006 - she was 3 at the time. Smuckers seemed appeared upset & became a lot more vocal, so we decided to get her a friend to keep her company a few months later. She has never overly friendly toward humans so we felt this was the right avenue.
We adopted a very friendly neutered male (Roscoe) who was said to get along with all cats. The moment the two met, he asserted his dominance right away by hitting her on the head which more or less has set the tone of their relationship together to this day.
The transition to live in harmony took a few months, with constant dominance spats, but eventually the fights simmered down & they were able to coexist by ignoring one another, despite the small quarters. Roscoe preferred to spend time with his human companions & Smuckers would keep to herself. Every now and again Roscoe decides to stalk Smuckers and attacks her. It's never claws out right away, but almost as though to mess with her because he knows it upsets her. To my knowledge, Smuckers has never started with him (although she certainly doesn't run away/back down right away when he strikes). She puts up a bit of a fight and then runs away after a few moments of fighting or when my husband or I break them up (whichever comes first). Please note, the fights are never more than a few moments long & on occasion there will be a few scratches on the nose - nothing more. We try our best not to tolerate them.
The situation gets strange with the additional cats that we have brought into our household & leaves me perplexed as to why Roscoe acts like such a bully toward Smuckers and ONLY Smuckers.
Last winter we rescued a female kitten (Ginger) off the street and Roscoe took to her quite well. He was very friendly, accepting & affectionate toward from the start & they became good friends & took to grooming one another within a short span of time. Ginger & Roscoe have NEVER gotten into a fights & if Roscoe plays a little too rough, Ginger simply scampers off.
This past spring, we rescued an extremely friendly female cat (Adeline). She was weary of getting to know Roscoe at first & hissed a lot (she was pregnant at the time), but he would not be phased by her hissing at all and simply walk away. She eventually warmed up to him after the kittens were born & adopted and they now get along fine for the most part. However, Adeline has remained rather cautious of him & alerts him of her presence by what i call her "siren" anytime he comes near - almost to let him know that she acknowledges his presence. She is also scared of him when he attempts to play with her, as he is a much larger cat. But, they are comfortable enough to groom one another on occasion - just as Ginger is.
Ginger & Smuckers are friendly & have phases of playing & phases of no interaction at all.
Smuckers had a phase of getting into fights with Adeline (right after our return from a vacation), but they have thankfully subsided for the most part. Any time any issue with Smuckers comes up between myself, my husband, or the other cats - Adeline runs to protect us.
Smuckers has never taken up grooming any of our other cats & has only ever warmed up to playing with Ginger, and even that is on occasion. Smuckers mostly keeps to herself, as does Roscoe & Ginger and Adeline are the closest. We attempt to give her attention & she does like to be pet, but only on her terms. She refuses to be held, hugged, or sit calmly next to or on someone's lap.
In the passed month fights between Roscoe & Smuckers have emerged again and have become more frequent. I am growing quite tired of constantly trying to stop Roscoe from stalking & bullying Smuckers for NO REASON. My efforts go without any results & I am at a loss at what to do. I try my best to keep and eye out for any altercations & stop Roscoe from attacking Smuckers - but it's difficult to do. I would truly like to resolve the issue all together if it is possible. Is there any particular reason for why Roscoe has it out for Smuckers and only Smuckers? Does it have to do with the fact that she was the resident cat? Is there anything that we can do to aid in a smoother relationship? While I care for Smuckers' well being, I do not know if I can go on the rest of her life keeping her in this situation. It makes me feel guilty & I feel as though we are providing a bad environment for her. The only resolution I could think of was to allow Smuckers to be an indoor/outdoor cat - but we live in a very busy area (I even once found a cat that had been run over right in front of our street) & I would be worried of her bringing any diseases/fleas/worms into our household & spreading them to the other cats.
Thank you for reading all of that. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

RESPONSE:

Welcome to the wonderful world of multiple cat household living! Generally speaking, cats don't like sharing so there tends to be a constant state of sibling rivalry going on. At our house, Fred picks on Marty and Cloe picks on Daisy. As long as there is no bloodshed, we tend to let them work things out on their own.
Bottom line, it sounds like Smuckers just doesn't like Roscoe. And since she gets upset and then runs from him, to Roscoe, this is a fun game. Roscoe needs more play time and Smuckers needs to have several places (cubbies and high up spots) where she can go to get aaway from him.
There is no way of knowing what, in her background, has made her distrustful of him and it is doubtful she will ever become his friend. She had the house to herself and suddenly this tomcat moved in and the house wasn't hers anymore. As long as she can get away from him, try not to stress about it.
You may also want to try Peacemaker from Spirit Essences or a combination of Bach Flower Essences to help all of the cats cope with this living arrangement. (Check the links on the laft to read more.) We use combination of Essences in our cat's water all the time to help keep things calmer but nothing will stop all of the sibling rivalry. Most importantly, you need to stay calm. If you get upset, the tension you feel will affect the cats and increase their stress making things worse.
In a nutshell, Smuckers is probably perfectly happy spending most of her time on her own. We have a couple of "loners" too. As long as everybody gets to eat and stays healthy, we don't worry about them.
Hope this helps.

Donna
House Full Cats Mom