middle child syndrome
by Heather Rodriguez
First I want to say, your web site has become a household bible! I have 3 amazing female rescue cats. All unique in there own way. My eldest cat (child) Raven just turned 9, middle cat Smokey is 5, and my baby Sophie is 3. The situation in my home is with Raven, she has become extremley territorial over myself and my bedroom. She has always shown signs of "aggression", but never physical, really leaning more towards showing she is the alpha. Before getting into details of how out of hand her actions have become, I would like to let you know a little bit more about her...Like I mentioned earlier your web site has truely been an eye opener for me and "my girls". I have read that the aggressor cat should be played with more, or shown more attention to devert the tension. Raven is the household lover, she is by no means slighted by attention, affection, treats, etc. This goes for all of them. My little one is not a lover, just playful and really goes along with whatever Raven is doing, she thinks shes her mother (very cute). Smokey, is a sweet timid girl, and my heart is breaking for her. I recently fixed a peeing issue, and realized my fears were true, she is stressed! I know the bullying is causing this and I want her to feel loved and not misplaced. She runs to me when ever the other cats are not around, purrs and loves the attention. As soon as one of the other girls are near, she runs away, or is on high alert. Every night Raven sleeps with me in my bed, and over the past few months she has been standing at my door like a warden, chasing off Smokey and not even allowing her from entering the room. For years smokey slept on the floor next to the bed and Raven in... Also, I have a water bowl in the master bath, which smokey favors, and again Raven will chase her out of the bathroom. I read an article on your site, suggesting removing all from the area causing the issue, but cant seem to find the article. PLEASE HELP!!! RESPONSE: Keeping them all out of the bedroom is one option but I wouldn't do it in this case. They were getting along OK and, at their age, Raven and Smokey have been full adults for several years so that is not the issue. If you haven't already, get them check by a vet to be sure they are healthy. A change in relationship between adults that normally got along can often mean there is a health issue with one of them. It sounds a little like Raven is the jealous type. Try playing right before bed and playing in the bedroom itself. Give them treats. Do this ONLY in the bedroom. Only give Raven treats when Smokey is in the room. Try using Bach Flowers or Spirit Essences to help calm Raven and to give Smokey some strength. Since this problem has come on rather quickly, with a little behavior modification, it should be able to be resolved. Give these suggestions a try and see if it helps. Donna - House Full Cats Mom |
