introducing a new member

by Craig Rofhok
(La Jolla, CA US)

hello,

We recently lost one of our five cats in our home and we are thinking about getting a kitten.

here is a little background on our current situation. i have own two males cats (MOJO and KASHMIR) that were adopted while still small but not kittens. They are supposedly brothers and love one another dearly. They are approx. ten years of age and they are very large cats (18-21 lbs) and they are not particularly fat, just large build (one fatty).

My fiance has one feral female cat (GRANDMA) that was rescued from the desert, she is approx 6-7 yrs old. Grandma is a bad cat, but a playful natured cat. She is brave yet low man on the totem pole around here.

Then there is NOVA, my fiance's little sister cat 10yrs old. There was also another, three legged female (ATHENA)who we recently lost.

The dynamic in our house is the Grandma, and my two kitties live with us on our bedroom and they all tolerate one another but only the boys lick one another and sleep together.

Athena and Nova my fiance's little sisters cats had a close relationship.

all the cats started living together roughly four years ago and up until Athena's passing they all got along fine, but they two separate groups. Athena and Nova and then my fiance's cat Grandma and my kitties Mojo and Kashmir were the second group of three.

Nova tries to be alpha males but my cats ignore his attempts at claiming dominance and instead he just scares grandma every chance he can ambush her. although its not really nasty, its more just reminders of his rank.

Nova is lonely. Our cats are fine, in fact growing closer each year. Nova actually will come in our bedroom which is sanctuary and the only place Grandma doesn't have to deal with him, since Athena's passing.

Sometimes I believe that the whole group is on the cusp of becoming a group and I wonder if a kitten might just bring that all into play.

All our cats spayed and/or neutered

However, I am having a difficult time researching information that is relevant to my particular situation.

With three males and one female, what sex kitten would I introduce?

Also, would we have to get a kitten? we are fans of adopting, although none of us have had a kitten and I imagine that is pretty much the only way they will accept a new member.

Would they rather not have another member?

We spoil the cats, and they get lots of attention daily, in fact the are the most codependent kitties I have ever seen. I had dogs all my life and raised my cats like dogs and Mojo is by my side, 80% of the time I am in the house. Both of my boys will come if called by name and they greet me at the door when i get home.

I am certain other than jealousy over attention all the cats will accept a kitten.


Any information you can offer on selection, introduction, etc.. would be great. My birthday is around the corner the 23rd and I believe a new kitty is on the way. :)

thank you in advance for any assistance you can offer.

Craig

RESPONSE:

Craig:

First, we want to thank you for sparking a lively debate here at House Full! We discussed your desire and situation at length and finally came to agreement on a few key things.

Of course your cats don't want a new member. Most cats don't like new. But too bad, get a new cat anyway! However, if you are hoping that bringing in a new member into your household will make all of your cats one big happy family, you may be disappointed. The existing group may bond together and gang up on the newcomer, they may split into separate groups again, or they may have very little interaction with the newcomer. Or, they may all eventually form one big happy group. You just never really know with cats so be prepared for anything.

A female would probably be a better choice. Males tend to be more competitive. If possible, try to observe her around other cats. Ask how she behaves around other cats. Pet her, pick her up. Bring a wand toy and see how she reacts to it.

What you want to look for is a cat that is friendly, used to people, and seems calm yet is playful. Avoid the overly timid and shy and avoid those that seem aggressive or overly dominate around other cats.

When playing, she should be alert, grabbing for the toy and watching its every move but not running all over everybody else to get at it. She should seem interested in you as well, looking at you and not running into a corner when you look at her. When you put your hand out, taking a step back is natural but, as you hold your hand out, she should be curious enough to sniff it and after investigating you, she should allow you to pet her.

As to the age, a young kitten may be too young for your group since they are all older. And young kittens do better in pairs. If you do get a kitten, your existing cats may simply ignore her until she get older unless one of them is the "mothering" type. An adolescent or older kitten (6 months to a year or 2 old) that has already been spayed may be a better fit. You don't want a sexually mature, intact cat. It will disrupt the group completely and take a very long time before she is ever accepted by them - if ever!

When you pick your new cat, be sure you have a place to isolate her before introducing her to the others. (We use a bathroom!) Be sure she has food, water, and a litter box, as well as something nice to sleep on. Keep her in there for a couple of days to allow her to get used to the smells of her new home. Visit her several times a day. Rub her with a towel or a t-shirt that you wear.

Rub your existing cats with a towel or t-shirt too and rub the newcomer with it. Rub the newcomer's t-shirt on your other cats. Switch the t-shirts a couple of times a day. What you want to do is co-mingle all of their smells creating a new "group scent". Cats use this group scent to identify their own members so they can quickly be alerted when a stranger enters their territory. We also suggest using some Bach Flower Essences or Spirit Essences to help ease the transition. (Click on the links on the left to read about these)We have found them to be very helpful especially when newcomers arrive.

Let all of the cats sniff under the door at each other. After a couple of days, let the new one out and stand back!

There will be some hissing, growling, and even slapping but don't let them get into an actual fight. (We have never had an actual fight but we are always prepared - just in case!) Keep a spray bottle filled with water handy and if they start to fight, squirt them until they stop. It doesn't hurt but it will shock them and hopefully distract them.

After a few minutes of them checking each other out, start a play session with a toy your cats like to distract everybody. After some play, offer their favorite treats. (We use baby food. None of our cats can resist it!) The idea is to associate good things with the newcomer.

Continue with your normal routines and act as though the newcomer was always there. It is important to your existing cats that their routines be disrupted as little as possible. Don't give the new one any more attention than you do the others. If she seems scared, ignore her. Cats respond better to being ignored than to being coddled. Let the cats set their own pace regarding their interaction with each other.

Whatever cat you get, allow time for everyone to adjust. Cats are emotionally sensitive and need time to adjust to any change in their environment. And remember, if you remain calm and act as though nothing has changed, you cats will pick up on this and feel more comfortable. If you act all excited about the newcomer, your existing cats will pick up on the excitement and it will actually make them more nervous. Above all, be patient!

So get your new baby, stand back, and watch the nature channel come to life in your own cats! Let us all know who you choose and how it goes!

Good Luck!

Donna
House Full Cats Mom