Help! Advice needed.

by Oxana
(Notting Hill)

Lola

Dear experienced Cat Lovers

I need your life saving advice, please.

I have a 4 month old kitten, my stroppy Charlie. He has never been a gentle cat but I love him for other reasons. My son hates Charlie as he bites and only I feel am an authority to him (Charlie won't sit on anybody's lap, but mine).
My son is getting jealous and I thought it would be a good idea to get him a cat too. Hopefully they would get attached like we are with Charlie.
I went out today and bought a lovely ginger female kitten, so lovely, so tiny and sweet I cannot describe. My son had straightaway called her Lola. She was going to be a younger sis to Charlie. We were laughing all the way home. If only we knew what was waiting for us in the house: hostility, spitting, stalking etc. Lola is possibly only 6 weeks old, is unable to protect herself by any means. She has not been weaned even. What have I done? Shall I get rid of her? But I love her too. She is super cute and colour is amazing. She looks like a miniature tiger with the most unusual patterns in a shape of butterfly all over her back. Lola has green eyes and soapy personality. She is my son's mate now. I would be an enemy if separate them now. But I am so scared that Charlie will attack her and simply kills her. I am not a clairvoyant, but my intuition says it would not be safe to let Charlie out. He looks at her like a predator at his pray and growls and even bites me for holding him while he urges to strike. What have I done? Is there any other option to try before giving her away?
Does anyone know what has possessed Charlie?

Oxana

RESPONSE:

Charlie is jealous and possesive. He has learned that biting gets him attention and for some cats, negative attention is better than no attention. Your problem is twofold: Retrain Charlie and protect Lola.
Lola nees to be isolated. She needs to be kept in a seperate room with food, water, litter box, scratching post, toys etc. Her world needs to be only one room of the house for now. She is too little to be roaming about. Visit her several times a day for gentle play, petting, feeding, etc. but don't let her out or let Charlie in. Keep them seperate for now.
Charlie needs to learn that being calm reaps better attention that being agressive. Play with him using string toys or throwing toys, never your hands. When he bites, don't pull away. Pulling away mimics prey behavior and makes the cat want to bite more. Instead, freeze, then when you feel him relax, push your hand, finger, arm, etc. toward his mouth. He won't be expecting this and will be more inclined to let go. Don't get upset or excited. Don't react at all if possible. When you get excited, Charlie gets excited. He is viewing all of this behavior as play (believe it or not!) When he is being calm and relaxed, offer him a treat. Play with him a lot, several times a day, and play til he is exhausted. A tired cat is a happy cat! Get him neutered ASAP!
Co-mingle Charlie's and Lola's scents by rubbing each with a towel and then rubbing the towels on the other cat. (Charlie's rubbed on Lola and vice-versa) Use the towels as a mat under their food to help them get used to the other's scent and associate the scent with good things (like food!).
Periodically lock Charlie up and allow Lola out of her room to explore the rest of the house supervised. After a couple of weeks, start introducing Lola to Charlie. Bring her out in a carrier and let Lola and Charlie see and sniff each other through the bars. (Some hissing and pawing at each other is normal) Offer them treats. After about 10 minutes, put Lola back in her room. After doing this several times, if Charlie seems fairly calm, let Lola out of the carrier. Again, some hissing and pawing is normal. If Charlie gets agressive, isolate him. After awhile, put Lola back in her room and let Charlie back out again. Keep doing this until Charlie stops being agressive.
Charlie is still young enough to learn better behavior so don't give up too easily. And you don't want to have Lola traumatized. She is experiencing enough changes right now that coping with an agressive older kitten is just too much for her right now. Keep working with them slowly and over time they should tolerate each other just fine.

Donna
House Full Cats Mom